The Chronicle has received several letters from fund raisers who are looking for input on their direct-mail appeals following our recent post about the quality of fund-raising prose.
In the coming days, we’ll post some of these letters, with the hope that Prospecting readers will offer critiques.
Please post your comments or suggestions in the comments area. As always, we hope the feedback will be constructive.
Today, we’ll offer a recent appeal from the environmental group Conservation Minnesota, in Minneapolis. It was submitted by Julia VanAvery, the organization’s development officer.
Here’s the letter:
Dear _______________
We’ve all heard about water pollution. But most of us don’t think it will actually impact our own lives. My family learned the hard way. And it happened right here in Minnesota.
We love to camp. Each year my wife Susan and I pack up our family for a new adventure somewhere in Minnesota. One trip had a little too much adventure.
On our way to Wild River State Park in Chisago County, we saw signs advertising “tubing trips”. It sounded like a fun break from our drive. Soon we were outfitted with inner tubes and floating lazily down the Sunrise River. We all agreed it was a great start to our vacation.
But that evening, our daughter Maura said she didn’t feel well. As time passed, she became listless and uncomfortable. My wife and I grew more and more concerned and decided to take our little girl to the emergency room.
We anxiously waited while Maura was examined and treated with IV antibiotics. What had gone wrong? Was it a virus? Something she ate? What had caused this emergency?
When the doctor said Maura would recover, we were relieved. But the doctor had other news for us: Maura had been infected by fecal coliform from pollution in the river. There was no way we could have known that the water was polluted. Later we found out that there are over 500 “straight pipe” septic systems dumping human waste directly into the Sunrise River.
What happened to my daughter on that summer day shouldn’t happen to anyone in Minnesota.
As Memorial Day approaches, families across our state are planning their own outdoor adventures. They deserve lakes, rivers and drinking water that are clean and safe.
Today, I am a volunteer with Conservation Minnesota. Why? Because Conservation Minnesota is working to protect the health of our families and to make sure Minnesota’s lakes, rivers, and streams can be enjoyed safely for generations. Here’s how:
• Keeping Parents Informed – Conservation Minnesota took all the confusing water testing data our state has collected and turned it into an easy to use website where you can find out if your favorite lake is safe for swimming and recreation. Over 30,000 people have already visited www.checkmylake.org. Your support will help Conservation Minnesota let more parents know about this useful tool for the summer and will help us complete a similar website for parents to check the safety of Minnesota’s rivers and streams.
• Cleaning Up Polluted Lake and Rivers – It has been 37 years since the Clean Water Act was passed. But Minnesota’s leaders have been slow to tackle the problem. That’s why Conservation Minnesota helped you take matters in your own hands by putting the Clean Water, Land and Legacy Amendment on last years ballot. You approved this measure overwhelmingly. Today, Conservation Minnesota is making sure your investment is put to work testing and cleaning up polluted lakes, not wasted on red tape. Your support will help us keep the public informed and the politicians honest by publishing the latest information on how the Amendment money is being spent at www.theamendment.org.
• Unbiased & Independent – Conservation Minnesota is a not-for-profit, and does not receive any funding from the state government. By relying on Minnesotans like you for support, Conservation Minnesota can make sure the information we provide doesn’t come with any political bias.
That is why I am asking you to please join me in supporting Conservation Minnesota today with a gift of $25, $50, $75 or more.
Together, we can make sure what happened to my family doesn’t happen to any other Minnesota family. Let’s make sure our lakes and rivers can be enjoyed for generations.
Sincerely,
John Curry
bq. Volunteer
bq. Conservation Minnesota
P.S. School will be out in a month. Send in your donation by May 22nd and help us make sure parents are informed and no more children get sick from a summer day enjoying Minnesota’s lakes and rivers.
Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments space below. To submit your letter for a critique, e-mail the Chronicle Web editor, Peter Panepento.
