The Chronicle gives fund raisers the chance to have their peers critique drafts of their appeal letters to donors.
Today we offer a letter from Saint Francis Medical Center College of Nursing, in Peoria, Ill. It was submitted by Lois J. Hamilton, the college’s president.
We’ll be posting a second letter from Ms. Hamilton later in the week.
To offer feedback to Ms. Hamilton, please post your comments or suggestions in the comments area. As always, we hope the feedback will be constructive.
Here’s Ms. Hamilton’s draft letter:
Dear ________ :
The College continues to connect our students to their dreams of becoming a registered nurse, an advanced practice nurse, and an educator. We are the bridge between where they are now and the professional life that is enjoyed by over 3000 other College of Nursing graduates.
This semester, we have 500 students working towards their dreams. A student shared that she is so happy that the College of Nursing is in our community. She said, “I received my nursing education in Peoria, I have no plans to leave this area. I am happy to be able to give back to my community.” This student was so grateful because she had received a scholarship to help pay her bills so that she could stay in school. She knew that the funds had come from generous donors, like yourself. I was impressed that she was concerned about giving back to the Community.
Another student said, “I have discovered the chance to develop lifelong skills that will help me to provide for my family as well as make a difference in the lives of others.” This is exactly what the College does. We provide knowledge and skills and teach caring and compassion by the examples of faculty and staff.
These statements show exactly how we see the College, giving back to Peoria and the surrounding areas. The College of Nursing is connecting with our students and with our community. Our students are connecting and caring for patients at the bedside, clinics, doctor’s offices, nursing programs, and other community agencies. No doubt, one of our graduates has cared for you. We all want a caring, knowledgeable nurse when we are in of health care.
Giving to the College is one way to ensure that qualified nurses are available to care for you when you need health care. The need is great! State and Federal financial aid are decreasing. The purpose of this appeal is to increase the balance in the College of Nursing Scholarship fund. We also want to have more endowments. Endowments will continue to give to students many years to come. We are asking that you give generously because your donations will make a different in many lives.
Please complete the form below and take the first step to help a student change their life forever.
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments space below. To submit your letter for a critique, e-mail the Chronicle Web editor, Peter Panepento.