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July 31, 2009

Crafting Winning Appeals: Making a Postcard Pitch Work

The Chronicle has received several letters from fund raisers who want help designing direct-mail appeals following our recent post about the quality of fund-raising prose.

Most of the submissions are traditional appeal letters.

But Sharon Mather, the annual-fund coordinator at William Woods University in Fulton, Mo., is looking for your advice on a different type of appeal.

Ms. Mather says her institution is experimenting with a postcard mailing to everybody who has graduated since 2000. The effort is an attempt to encourage alumni to go to the university’s Web site.

Below are images of the postcard. To offer ideas to Ms. Mather, please post your comments or suggestions in the comments area. As always, we hope the feedback will be constructive.

Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments space below. To submit your organization’s letter for a critique, send an e-mail to the Chronicle’s Web editor, Peter Panepento.

— Peter Panepento

Friday July 31, 2009 | Permalink

Comments

1. If this were an entire mailing (letter, reply card, return envelope, etc.), part of my evaluation would be to comment on your reply vehicle(s), so I went to <TheWoods.edu/GivingGreen> to see what your “reply card” looked like? (Is it direct? Does it ask superfluous questions? Is it inviting/attractive/engaging? Does it ask me to donate? Are there various amounts that are tied to the mission? [“With a gift of A, you’ll help accomplish X; with a gift of B, you’ll accomplish Y…”] Does it send me an immediate thank you e-mail, whether I share a memory or donate?)

   What happened was…nothing. The link goes nowhere. I tried a prefix of <www.> as well as <http://> or even <https://> but got all broken links. I even tried to be case sensitive, to no avail.

   The postcard serves much like the outside of the envelope: You might get it opened, but will you keep the constituent engaged enough to respond – and see it through to the end? A great deal of that depends on how much work they have to do to complete the task, and when you’re talking about online constituents, it had better be IMMEDIATE gratification.

   — Valerie Lambert    Jul 31, 01:40 PM    #

2. I think your idea to test a postcard with this demographic is a good one. I’d be curious to know what size it is, 3×5, 4×6 or other; but that’s not significant for this. My initial thoughts are these:

   a) Since Valerie (comment #1) tested all the links, I didn’t spend time doing that. I’ll say that I agree with her comments and the recommendation in her last paragraph.

   b) I hope the photo is of actual graduates and NOT a stock photo. I suggest removing all doubt (you’ll also add interest and a form of “proof”) by telling alumni who’s in the photo. Have their name, degree, and year of graduation as part of the photo. For example: Sarah Jones, GEOLE ‘02

   c) Perhaps if I was a graduate the paragraph beneath the bullets would be clearer . . . but to me it’s a fuzzy message. Again, I don’t know anything about the university so bear this in mind as you read my suggestion for alternate copy. It can be tightened but here are my quick thoughts: “Remember how precious every dollar was while you were at the Woods? That’s still true for today’s students. Your gift of $20 will make a BIG difference. You’ll help them create more of their own great memories. An easy way to give and to help the students is through the Young Alumni Society. Only recent graduates like you are eligible to join.” [And then have your URL inviting them to read more.]

   d) Your message and appeal is about alumni joining the Young Alumni Society and giving $20. So I would make this statement below your header quite tiny: “We’ve gone green at the Woods…..”

   e) Again, because the purpose and theme is the Young Alumni Society I would create a URL like this: TheWoods.edu/YoungAlumni … And I would definitely create a unique landing page dedicated to this appeal. Your headline on the landing page absolutely MUST continue the conversation you started with your postcard. It must include the words, “Young Alumni Society” for example.

   f) Also, you have room on the back of the card to reinforce the message. I realize this age demographic is among those very interested in being “green” but that’s not the purpose of your appeal . . . as I understand it. So have a few sentences about the Young Alumni Society instead and the impact of their donation (be as specific as possible on what it can achieve for a student); mention the gift they’ll receive when they join; and repeat a URL relevant to the campaign.

   Hope that helps and good luck!

   Karen Zapp, Fundraising Copywriter
   http://www.PKscribe.com

   — Karen Zapp    Jul 31, 03:25 PM    #

3. I would be very careful about stating…“We’ve gone green…One postcard, No long letters.” You may be creating the expectation for ALL future mailings. What happens when someone in this group gets a traditional letter appeal? If they actually make a gift will they be strictly segmented for email communications only or will they fall into the traditional communications streams for newsletters, appeals, etc.? What happens when they recieve a traditional thank you letter in response to a gift? This isn’t a problem if you are inviting participants to sign up to recieve email communications instead and they are strictly segmented. My advice with this comment is to ensure you do not inadvertantly put your organization in a corner.

   The appeal message overall is a bit confusing…the teasers are about going green, yet the invitation is about supporting the university to help current students create memories. Is the main point about “going green” and they can help by signing up to go “paperless?” or is it about trying to get young alum reconnected in order to become donors? If the second is the primary goal, I would drop all the green comments and make the focus solely on remembering their experience at Woods and inviting them to join the young alumni society. What “tools” are in place for the young alums that you can tout in the postcard? IE “reconnect with classmates via our blog…keep up with current campus news…join our facebook page, etc.” Sharing ways they can get “connected” will be more effective than the “going green” approach.

   I think it is a great idea for a low cost way to engage young alumni. A postcard approach like this probably would not work for trying to attract donors with no previous connection to or knowledge of an organization.

   Good luck!

   Robert Croft, Consultant
   Crandall, Croft & Associates

   — Robert Croft, Consultant    Aug 3, 10:10 AM    #

4. Thanks so much for your time and comments on our fundraising postcard.

   Just to clarify, we don’t have the card in the mail yet; therefore don’t have the link active. We will have before the card hits the mail.

   The photos are of two of our current undergrad students.

   I appreciate your feedback and will take your suggestions to heart.

   Sincerely,

   Sharon Mather
   William Woods University

   — Sharon Mather    Aug 3, 02:31 PM    #

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